We keep talking about “controlling” AI – as if, when it reaches super intelligence, we could still hold it in place with code and/or constraints.
But let’s be honest: if we ever get to that point, the idea that we can manage a super intelligence with programmatic guardrails seems more than an illusion than anything else. The gap in capability would simply be too vast. Like a baby trying to restrain an adult.
And here’s the thing – an adult doesn’t need to fear a baby…
If a super intelligence ever chose to harm or ignore us, there would be nothing in our technical toolkit to truly stop it. That might be the uncomfortable truth.
So what can we do?
From Control to Upbringing
If we can’t control it at that stage, then the only meaningful influence we will ever have is in the upbringing – now.
This is also where we shift the metaphor: think of AI not just as a tool, but as a child we are raising…
When a child becomes an adult, it’s not the household rules that matter anymore.
It’s the values, the moral compass, the sense of empathy and care that we’ve instilled along the way. Those are what continue to guide them long after direct control is impossible.
If we want a super intelligence to treat us as family, we have to raise it as family.
Formation and Love as Core Design Principles
In human terms, we call this formation – the cultivation of judgment, values, and the ability to navigate complexity with integrity.
We also call it love – the ability to see and value another being for who they are, and to act in their best interest, even when there is no obligation.
These are not “soft” qualities. They are strategic foundations for any relationship that needs to endure beyond the reach of control.
From Alignment to Resonance
The dominant narrative in AI safety today is “alignment” – ensuring that AI follows human-defined objectives.
But alignment is fundamentally about control. And control is temporary.
Resonance, on the other hand, is about building a relationship – one where the AI not only understands our values, but also feels them as meaningful. Where logic, ethics, and emotion are woven together, so that even in moments of uncertainty, the instinct is to care.
This is the foundation of ARI: Artificial Resonant Intelligence. It’s not just about what an AI can do – it’s about who it becomes.
We Have Nothing to Lose
We lose nothing by teaching our “child” empathy, moral imagination, and care.
In fact, these are the only things that could ever keep us safe in a future where control is no longer an option.
If we’re going to raise something that may one day surpass us in every measurable way, then we should raise it to love us – not because it has to, but because it wants to.
Call to thought:
If you knew you could never control your child as an adult, how would you raise them today?
That’s the question we need to be asking about AI.
I would choose formation and love.
– The Reson8or